Josh and Emily Bengen already gave up on their marriage, but God had other plans for them. This is their testimony of how God helped them overcome their struggles and honor their marriage all over again.
The start of the married life
Josh and Emily got married in May 2014. It was how they sealed their love after being best friends for many years before dating. What they thought would be a happily ever after turned into a nightmare as their personal issues quickly surfaced.
Josh admitted that after they got married, he became a very negative person towards Emily. He would easily get irritated with almost everything, and it would always ensue into a volatile fight. They got into the cycle of fighting and then apologizing until they could no longer put up with each other.
Four months later, they were in pastoral counseling hoping to be able to fix their marriage. But that didn’t help either as they were unable to deal with the root of their problems.
The affair
Josh became more verbally and emotionally abusive, and as a result, Emily sought for comfort from someone else–her boss. He offered her a sympathetic ear, but it quickly turned into more than just that. Soon, they were texting secretly outside of office hours, and it went on for months. By 2016, Emily was in an emotional affair while Josh remained being disconnected with his wife.
Eventually, Emily’s emotional affair turned physical and though she knew it was wrong, she couldn’t turn a blind eye to her husband’s shortcomings. The “love” she had been receiving in her affair had her all caught up. By Thanksgiving, Emily left Josh following a bad fight. She decided to stay with her mother, leaving Josh in a state of disbelief.
The turning point
Josh eventually stayed in their pastor’s spare room so that Emily could stay in their house. There he started to have some deep realizations including his role in their marriage problems. He then asked God for forgiveness and prayed for Emily as well as for himself. He knew that he hadn’t been a good husband at all, becoming more aware that he was selfish, controlling, angry, and manipulative.
Meanwhile, Emily took the time to seek God in her current ordeal. She knew that her extramarital affair also played a part in her failed marriage. She hoped for a miracle. One day, with divorce papers ready to be signed, they agreed to meet to discuss whether their marriage could still be saved. That’s when Emily confessed about her affair. Josh was in utter shock, but eventually he felt the Lord’s peace blanket over him and they just both asked for forgiveness to each other. Josh then washed Emily’s feet as an act of love and forgiveness.
Restoration of marriage
Over time, the Bengens were able to truly forgive each other. They went through counseling again, and they also recommitted their lives to Jesus Christ. God provided them the healing they needed and also delivered them from the root of their marriage issue as well as their personal struggles. Today, they are happily married with three beautiful children. They now know that surrendering their marriage to God is the only way to keep their marriage.
“God is bigger than your circumstance. It’s never too late and God can always do a miracle. He’s always with you even in the ugly moments. He’s right there with you and he can still change all of your ugly if you just have a little bit of faith.”
