Arynn had never once in her life thought that she would end up in a mental institution for depression and self-harm. But she did, and it led her to finding God in the middle of the mess. This is her testimony of how God saved and healed her of her mental health problems.
Going astray
As a teenager, Arynn believed that being a Christian meant that it was all about keeping her away from anything that she called “fun.” So, despite attending a Christian college, she followed a principle of believing God in her head, but not by heart.
At 18, she started going to parties where she let loose and drank all the alcohol that she wanted. Feeling edgy for breaking the rules set for her, she continued to just have fun thinking that it wouldn’t catch up to her. It eventually became a pattern and at the age of 19, during her sophomore year, she was now taking shots of tequila at 8 in the morning.
Yet, Arynn didn’t think that she had a problem. She did however feel her mental and physical health deteriorating.
Self-harm period
The first time that Arynn tried self-harm was when she was 17. The moment she saw blood, she was hooked, describing it to be like a dopamine hit. It even reached to the point that she would reward herself with self-harm. The urge to do it increased as her drinking problem progressed.
At some point, all that she could think of was death. So one night, she picked up a razor and started cutting herself in the bathroom. She just kept going and going even though there was blood all over already. Her friend came in and stopped her. After that incident, she was institutionalized for a week.
A message from God
Arynn was disappointed with where she ended up in her life, but there was a purpose for her admission into the mental hospital. There, she met a guy who sat down next to her and told her that he felt like God wanted him to talk to her. Arynn thought it was strange, but the guy told her that God loves her and that He has not left her. He also told her to read her bible every day.
“What he gave me that day was just a lot of hope,” Arynn said. Since then, she found the reason to try to get better and to stop drinking. She began to feel hopeful of the possibility of something better. So, when she got back to school for junior year, she started reading the bible one chapter a day.
Deliverance & Healing
Arynn gradually saw a change in her life. Though self-harm and depression did not go away immediately, God slowly put back the pieces in her life, providing her deliverance from depression and mental health issues. Soon she realized that she had not cut herself or even wanted to in a long time. As she continued reading her bible, her faith also grew.
“The only thing that can really fix your brokenness is Jesus.”
